Moms need mom friends!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

There are some people in life, 
that make you laugh a little louder,
smile a little bigger and
and live just a little better.



I wrote a post a while ago about the different kind of friends that every mom needs (h e r e). I got lots of fun feedback from friends and then it dawned on me... you are very lucky to have at least one mom friend on that list. 
When I first came to the states, I had nobody. I knew of 5 people in Utah (3 of them being the coaching staff at BYU) and that was it!  In college I made life-long friends. Friends that are now spread out all over the world. We have the kind of relationships that even though we are far apart, we still keep in touch. 
When I was pregnant with Noah, I was pregnant at the same time as two of my sister in laws and some other friends. It was so nice not to feel alone with all the uncertain things that were happening. One example was the fear of labor, and then all the things that happens after! If you're a mom, you know what I mean :) 
The newborn stage as a first time mom can be brutal, I don't even know what I would've done without my best friend Wendy. I am pretty sure we texted every single day. We texted about everything from sore nipples to getting peed on. We talked about being exhausted, sleeping schedules, colic, tummy aches, constipation, all that fun stuff! Texting your other mommy friend at 2 am is completely normal because you know they will either respond right away or within and hour or two. 
Mom friends can be hard to find, but everyone needs them.

Moving away from Utah was so hard, I moved away from my second family again. It was also very hard moving from friendships made since I moved in '08, and I knew they would never be replaced. That being said, I knew it was going to be hard as the "new girl" to make new friends. I feel so lucky for moving into such an amazing ward/place with so many incredible people. We have lived here for a year and I have met so many awesome individuals. It doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard for me, because it has. It is hard and scary to put yourself out there, it's hard to have to "start over" again. 
I'm pretty social and outgoing, and I still think it is terrifying to put myself out there. The truth is, if you never try you will never know. Taking that first step is always the hard part, and often times whoever you are trying to befriend could probably use a friend too. 

Mom friends are necessary.
Amidst the chaos and the go-go-go with the kids every day, it is very easy to feel lonely. The struggle is real people, and finding good mom friends is hard. Don't give up, make yourself available, talk to the new mom at the park, and be the first person to say hi.


xoxo




15 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness AMEN! Mom friends are so important. This move has been hard on me too. I agree with what you said, it's hard to "put yourself out there" and "start over." Lets get together soon! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Moving is soo hard!! Gah, please please please can we get together!!! xoxo

      Delete
  2. YES! I was the first of all my friends to have kids, and for a while I felt pretty lonely...until I started making Mom friends! Having friends who aren't Moms is important, but having Mom friends is also so important!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously tho, thank you for your thoughts!! <3

      Delete
  3. This is so good, it is hard and even though you're constantly surrounded by little people, it can be so lonely without a good mom friend or two!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For reals, we need them to keep us in check :)

      xo

      Delete
  4. Your posts always seem to inspire novel-length comments from me....
    The idea of mom friends sounds so awesome, especially having lived away from family for 5 years now, to have more of a local support system would be so great.
    We're living in an awesome area now, where we've had the opportunity to meet many people in different stages of life. There is also an incredible sense of community here, & everyone has been so amazing and helpful as my family has struggled along.
    As wonderful as the people here have been though, there hasn't been anyone who I've really clicked with to the point of developing more than a surface relationship with, there isn't anyone I would feel comfortable just calling up or texting any time, day or night. I've tried to develop friendships, but I can't help feeling like I'm deficient in the area of friend making. My attempts always seem to come up unsuccessful.
    It's hard to look around and see other moms with solid friendships and not feel a pang of jealousy. I feel frustrated because I don't know how to make it happen for me, or if my expectations are too high or something? I don't know. This feels really vulnerable and almost embarrassing to admit, so I think I'll stop here. :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be embarrassed, we have all been there seriously!! First off I love your lengthy comments because you are so genuine and I just love you as a person. It is so hard, I sometimes feel like "why try"? Because the ones that I have solid relationships with aren't even here and I'm gonna move soon anyways...but then I think why not try? And try again? I wish we lived close cause you'd be my BFF!!! I don't think your expectations are too high, I think maybe sometimes we expect things to happen faster and on our schedule. I am certain that you will find that "connection" with someone soon, just don't give up <3

      Delete
    2. ♡♡♡♡ Thanks for that, my friend. You reminded me of that "bloom where you're planted" saying. Whether in a place for a long while our temporarily, why not do our best to live it up to it's full potential (as much as you can), by exploring and making connections and friends, etc. Of course, saying is so much easier than doing, right? Thanks for the encouragement! I really hope we get to meet in person someday!

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  5. Yes, You need adult time with other Moms who understand. Ahmen sister!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its so important, thank you for your comment <3

      Delete
  6. Mom friends are SO necessary! I moved to Atlanta 5 years ago and while I have friends here, I dont get to see them often and have yet to find my "tribe" - but yes, so so important!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love this post! My mom friends are the ones who keep me sane for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The struggle is SO real! I'm glad you were able to make some new mom friends after your move. It's hard to put yourself out there. It's easier knowing they are in the same stage of life as you though.

    ReplyDelete