How to find your mom village!

Encouragement from moms for moms is like the air we breathe:

We need it,

It fills us up,

it allows us to do what we do everyday.

 "It takes a village to raise a child!" This phrase is as old as time and at one point or another we have all heard it. To me, a village is being surrounded by family/friends that are there through thick and thin. So if you think about it, you've most likely been surrounded by a village at least once. 

When I moved to America from Sweden, as you can image that was one of the hardest and most terrifying things ever. I didn't know a single soul. At 19 years old, I had to step out of my comfort zone BIG time and speak a language I hardly even spoke. My BYU family became my village. They helped me in ways I didn't know was possible. Then I got married, and we had Noah a year later. I was so lucky to be surrounded by family and friends so I hardly felt alone. I had my friends but I quickly realized that I also needed mom friends. 

Noah needed kids to play with, I needed to have adult conversations besides my husband. As a first time mom, I had no idea what I was doing so what better way to learn, than from moms. To feel like you weren't the only one that had a fussy kid, or that wasn't getting enough sleep at night. What better person to ask about breastfeeding than a fellow mom. Now that I have three, it has become even MORE important to me to have mom friends. 

When we moved to Arizona, we moved to an area with people who had lived there for years. I assumed most of these moms had their own "village", and some did but a majority did not. Here is the thing, we often assume that we know what other people have/need. We psych ourselves out before we even know, thus, we miss out on major opportunities. 

Momming is hard, whether you're a new mom or have 5 kids, it is still hard. Do not be afraid to reach out, step out of your comfort zone and do not assume you know other people's stories. Finding a mom village does not have to be difficult, I think we are the ones that make it hard. We live in a digital word where we can connect with other moms through FB groups, Instagram but also neighborhood groups. These places help us connect with people we probably never would've met. I am a living example of that, a lot of my close friends that I've met since we moved started online. And I am still alive haha :)

                                                                            My Sisters Closet 

The next time you see another mom with the baby item you’re thinking about buying, or their child who looks to be the same age as your little one, go over and say hi, because I am sure that they are hoping that they have the courage to do the same…

We are all in this together <3

xo

My secret to how I do "it" all

Never doubt a mother. 

She can carry a screaming toddler,  

two gallons of milk, 

talk on her cell phone and

 still slap you for looking at her crazy.

I can't stop laughing at this quote, it is so funny and so real!! Lately I have had people ask me, "how do you do it all fatty?". You have three kids, you're a wife, you cook, you have time to workout, you blog, you have your fitness thing..how? The answer is very simple,  I don't . Truth is, my house is a mess 90% of the time. There is usually a pile of laundry that needs to be folded or washed. I love cooking, but costco pizza is also our jam! I usually remember that Noah is in charge of snacks at preschool the day of! I am totally winning haha. I bribe my kids often because #youdowhatyougottado and we all end up happy! 

Oh, and I eat a lot of chocolate and ice cream :)

Somedays I am on survival mode and others I feel like super mom! 

I think we all do it, we just do "it" differently. We are all super stars in our children's eyes. We are their biggest heroes. Don't let someone else's strength make you feel less of a mom. I wish I was a cleaning freak, a baker, a craft monster and other things...but I'm not! 

And guess what? That is OKAY, because I am a whole lot of other great things! And so are YOU!

xo

Dear Mothers

Dear Mothers,

I am writing to you because I want you to hear this. You are amazing! Yes, you with the big dark circles under your eyes. You, who's trying to balance work and being a mother. You, with spit up on your new shirt, dirty dishes in the sink and 2 weeks worth of laundry on your floor. Especially you, the first time mom who may feel lonely and sleep deprived, YOU are amazing. 

You are doing better than you think you are!

It is easy to get down on ourselves, stop it...we are all "winging it". Being a mom is hard work, harder than I ever thought was possible. Whether you breastfeed, bottle feed, co-sleep or not, baby wear or home school, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you are doing what is best for you and your baby, and that is love. 

You're a hero, not a failure. 

You are not alone. Seriously, you're not. I promise as lonely as it may seem sometimes, there's another mother feeling those exact same feelings. You're probably thinking, "actually I am alone" or "I don't have any mom friends". We all feel this way at some point. Be the one to reach out to a stranger. That stranger may become your new best friend. Step out of your comfort zone, start a conversation with another mom at the park. Invite someone over to your house! Did you just think "my house is a mess"? Been there done that. Nobody cares about what your house looks like, every mom wants company. 

We are our hardest critics, and at one point or another we all feel like we are failing. But oh my dear, look at all the great things you are doing. You were up 6 times in the middle of the night, because someone needed to pee, needed a snack or simply needed to cuddle. You made sure your kids had everything they needed before heading to school. You are a pro at making train noises, being a dinosaur and you know every word of every disney movie. You kissed all the owies better and sent every monster away before bedtime. You know exactly what to do to make your child giggle, the loud kind go giggle. At some point during your day, you wanted to call it quits, but you didn't. Instead you listened to the same story over and over again, you raced your kid up the stairs, you fed them dinner and you bounced your baby to bed. 

So yes, you are amazing, no matter how tired you are, you selflessly do this every single day. 

I love and admire you. 

You're a hero, not a failure. 

xoxo

Moms need mom friends!

There are some people in life, 

that make you laugh a little louder,

smile a little bigger and

and live just a little better.

I wrote a post a while ago about the different kind of friends that every mom needs (h e r e). I got lots of fun feedback from friends and then it dawned on me... you are very lucky to have at least one mom friend on that list. 

When I first came to the states, I had nobody. I knew of 5 people in Utah (3 of them being the coaching staff at BYU) and that was it!  In college I made life-long friends. Friends that are now spread out all over the world. We have the kind of relationships that even though we are far apart, we still keep in touch. 

When I was pregnant with Noah, I was pregnant at the same time as two of my sister in laws and some other friends. It was so nice not to feel alone with all the uncertain things that were happening. One example was the fear of labor, and then all the things that happens after! If you're a mom, you know what I mean :) 

The newborn stage as a first time mom can be brutal, I don't even know what I would've done without my best friend Wendy. I am pretty sure we texted every single day. We texted about everything from sore nipples to getting peed on. We talked about being exhausted, sleeping schedules, colic, tummy aches, constipation, all that fun stuff! Texting your other mommy friend at 2 am is completely normal because you know they will either respond right away or within and hour or two. 

Mom friends can be hard to find, but everyone needs them.

Moving away from Utah was so hard, I moved away from my second family again. It was also very hard moving from friendships made since I moved in '08, and I knew they would never be replaced. That being said, I knew it was going to be hard as the "new girl" to make new friends. I feel so lucky for moving into such an amazing ward/place with so many incredible people. We have lived here for a year and I have met so many awesome individuals. It doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard for me, because it has. It is hard and scary to put yourself out there, it's hard to have to "start over" again. 

I'm pretty social and outgoing, and I still think it is terrifying to put myself out there. The truth is, if you never try you will never know. Taking that first step is always the hard part, and often times whoever you are trying to befriend could probably use a friend too. 

Mom friends are necessary.

Amidst the chaos and the go-go-go with the kids every day, it is very easy to feel lonely. The struggle is real people, and finding good mom friends is hard. Don't give up, make yourself available, talk to the new mom at the park, and be the first person to say hi.

xoxo

Mommyin' is HARD work!

Being a mom is hard. I have always had the "if my mom can do it, I can do it" mentality. Then I became a mother and realized how stinking hard it is. I honestly wonder quite often how my mother did/does it. Growing up I never knew there was such a thing as postpartum depression, until my best friend got it after her first. Today, I have many friends that deal with this or just depression in general. To you, who's dealing with this, I say; you are not alone. 

I think theres this hidden pressure on us women, that we should be able to do everything, especially in the LDS community. Sometimes theres these pressures to be perfect and to live perfect lives. A life where our kids obey, never cry, never throws tantrums and are reverent at all times. I promise this isn't reality. I promise this happens to all of us, one way or another. 

My friend told me "I never wanted to admit things were hard, because I thought that made me look like a weak mother". 

I hope and pray that you never feel this way. We all struggle. Being a mother is hard work. 

" The joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction" - Russell M. Ballard

Do you ever find yourself feeling defeated, frustrated, tired and full of love all at the same time?? The struggle is real people. I could be pregnant for days, because I seriously LOVE it, but then we gotta raise these little humans. They all come with their own personalities, and struggles and that is the real challenge.

Don't let peoples images make you feel less of a mother. Not everyone post about their struggles, but I guarantee that they're there. Motherhood isn't always smiles and giggles, there are daily tantrums, giant tears, food battles and sharing problems. Oh and naps! Don't even get me started on when your toddler is tired but they fight it and become super duper sensitive to everything. Then later they fall asleep at 5PM and then have another battle at 8PM, because they aren't tired. I promise, you're not the only one! 

Thank heavens for the brighter moments. The times when they do obey, when they randomly hug and kiss you, when they get excited about the simplest things. Those happy smiling times are there and I am convinced that they are there to keep us going each day. 

3 things that keeps me sane as a stay-at-home mother.

1. My husband!

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He keeps me sane, he texts me all day long to make sure we are doing okay. He wants to be involved, he loves seeing pictures of our daily adventures. When he comes home, he takes his parenting right where he left off. Sometimes he doesn't even have time to change his clothes before he's on the ground wrestling with the kids. He helps me with the kids, wakes up at night without complaining, and tells me to go out and have fun. I'm beyond grateful for him and all that he does for/with us. 

2. Play dates

I would die if I didn't have play dates set up each week. Plus my kids love their friends and playing at other people's houses. 

3. Me-time/Girls time

I will always preach that me-time/girls time is so important. You need to take care of yourself everyday, whether it is 30 min or 3 hours! Whatever you need to fill that cup. Do something for yourself that makes you happy. Create healthy and sincere friendships that will help and uplift you. Girls that you can count on, vent to and just have the best time with. 

xo 

 

Parental guidance, through Christ!

Hard times will constantly be there

-that won't change-

But so will Christ 

and with him we are able to overcome and conquer absolutely everything.

- Al Carraway

I always knew I wanted to be a mother one day. When I was younger I always loved playing with the little kids and dreamed about one day running after my own. I never knew the sacrifice, the sweat and the tears motherhood would come with. My mother and my older sisters, never really showed the hard and tough days. Or maybe they did, but I never saw the struggles of motherhood until I was the one struggling. I never knew that there was such a thing as "postpartum depression" or "baby blues". I never knew that a baby would rock your world to the max! I never knew that some women couldn't breastfeed and some would feel a disconnect with their child. There were a lot of things I didn't know, until I became a mother myself. 

The day after Noah was born, Ben and I were laying in my hospital bed, holding each other, in tears, wondering what in the world did we get ourselves into. Ben was taking 18 credits, he was super busy and we just welcomed a new baby into our family. We wanted this, we wanted a family, we loved our son so much, but we didn't know how hard it'll be. You don't know these things, you can't really prepare for these things either. I know that there are people out there that deal with much worse things than I do, no matter the degree, I couldn't have done it without Christ. I knew that He trusted us to be parents, and He was there at all times.

"As we make Christ the center of our lives, our fears will be replaced by the courage of our convictions." - Thomas S. Monson

I don't think I have ever prayed so much until I became a Mother. I literally pray ALL the time haha! Many might sound like this: "Heavenly Father, please help these kids fall asleep, so I can rest and stay sane", "Help me, help them" or "Heavenly Father, I don't know what to do, please help me. I feel like a terrible mother."

I have never felt so close to heaven until I had Noah. I knew Heavenly Father trusted me with his child. I just didn't know how much I would need Him to reassure me that that was the case. 

I read talks all the time about motherhood, because I know these words are from our Father in Heaven. I ask for blessings from my Husband often, and I know that the words spoken are from God. I couldn't do motherhood without the gospel in my life, without constant communication with my Savior. I used to think that I could do a lot of things on my own, but with Christ I can do so much more. I see His hand in my life, daily. I seek for it daily. It helps me more than I ever knew was possible.

Never be afraid to ask for help, don't be afraid to pray. God is there, just waiting for us to seek him. Whether you are a mom or not, seek Him daily and I promise you will see how He will bless you. 

I know that we each have our struggles, our battles and our weaknesses. You don't have to go through them alone, God is there for that exact reason. 

We are blessed by our efforts of trying, not perfection.

xoxo

5 friends every Mom needs

I have been thinking about this a lot, friends come and go, but REAL friends, those friends that you stick with for years, can be hard to find. It doesn't really matter if you are a stay-at-home, work-at-home or working mom, if we're not careful this motherhood thing can be real lonely. You either spend most of your day caring for children who have a lot of energy and make demands, or stuck in a cubicle for eight hours a day. 

Moms needs friends, but with everything we have going on, it may be difficult to prioritize our relationship. Moving from Utah was hard, because I left all my awesome mommy friends and had to make new ones in Arizona. To some this may be easy and to others it is one of the hardest thing ever. As a first time mom, its a chaotic but rewarding time in your life. There's nothing more refreshing than spending time with someone who gets you and gets what you are experiencing every single day. 

Here are 5 friends every mom needs.

1. The friend who gets you

Oh man, no matter what your day looks like, every mom needs a friend who understands exactly what she is going through. If you're a working mom, pumping every three hours to keep up with a newborn. If you're a stay-at-home mom, struggling to keep toddlers entertained during the cold winter months. Clinging to a stay-at-home mom is important too!

2. The friend who keeps it 100!

What I mean by that is every once in awhile, us moms need someone who will speak the cold, hard truth! The stuff we might not want to hear, but what we need to hear! Someone that will call you at 6 am to tell you to get out of bed and go run. 

3. The single and childless friend

We have all heard off "people with no kids don't understand". While that might be true to some extent, having a single and childless friend is the best!! My best friend from Sweden just came and visited my family, because she can and has that time. She is and has been one of my best friends (16 years and counting). Some moms may find it hard to maintain those friendships after getting married and having kids. These friends are the best for spontaneous outings, when you need a night away from your responsibilities.

4. The friend that will drop everything, anytime

This friend is everything, I first thought about grandmas. They do this over and over again, but sometimes they can't be at 3 different places at once. When grandma can't make it, I hope you have that friend that will come to the rescue when things are going south. Whether you need an ice cream break, or take a child to the emergency room. Every mom needs a friend that would drop everything at short notice.

5. A friend who is always up for a heart-to-heart talk

Being a mom is hard, and it is a lot of work and some do it 24/7. We are trying to balance our parenting responsibilities while trying to care for our significant others, keep up with work and make time for ourselves. That's a lot. Sometimes we also tend to forget about ourselves, because we are so preoccupied taking care of others. When everything seems too much, or when we just need help, a friend who is always game for a heart-to-heart talk is totally invaluable. I always leave feeling so much better, and usually the other person needed to let their feelings out as well. 

xo

Why you shouldn't warn other parents about different stages.

A Child's spiritual DNA is perfect because ones true identity is a son and daughter of God.

- Neil L. Andersen

When you first become a parent, it is both exciting and nerve-racking. You are about to be responsible for a tiny human being. Heavenly Father has complete trust that you are going to provide, protect and LOVE your babies just as he loves you... at all times. As a couple we create perfect beings, we watch the woman's body develop and do some amazing things. I truly believe women are phenomenal. I believe birth is such a spiritual moment and I feel so close to heaven in that moment.

But becoming a parent is more than just looking at your perfect child. You watch your child grow, build character, say their first word, crawl, walk etc. 

Nerve-racking, because you have no idea whats about to hit you. You don't know if your baby is going to be a good sleeper, colicky, good eater, cry all day long kind of baby. You just don't know! 

When I was pregnant with Noah, my biggest pet-peeve was hearing "bad birth stories". Like why do people feel like it's okay to tell scary stories? Ain't nobody want to hear that.

I also got the, "just prepare yourself that you will never sleep for the rest of your life". Well that doesn't sound very fun, because I love sleeping.  And my favorite, "babies are so boring that first part of life, until they start interacting with you".

Okay, I don't know about you, but I hate comments like these. Why? Because it puts fear into your mind. Whatever your baby is dealing with in whatever stage,  YOU CAN HANDLE IT. Don't let people tell you how things are going to be. Every baby is different.

I love being a mom, more than anything. But that doesn't mean that it is all peachy everyday. It is so hard, actually the hardest job I've ever had. There are many times I find myself on my knees asking for help, for more patience, to be more loving and understanding. This is one heck of a job, and it is 24/7. I bow down to you single parents out there. 

Motherhood was fairly "easy" up until Noah turned 2. We have all heard of the "terrible twos" and the "treenager" phase. I got warned by probably everyone and anyone. Strangers, family, social media I mean you name it. I didn't really let that get to me too much until I started seeing some of his behavior change. Immediately, I blamed it on the "terrible twos". I saw myself getting frustrated at him, instead of trying to understand why he was doing certain things. I found myself getting angry a lot, and I'm not an angry person at all. Then whenever anything was hard, I blamed it on his age. Looking back, I can see how I missed some incredible moments with my son, because I wasn't enjoying that stage. A couple of months before he turned 3, I kept hearing "oh 3 is even worse". It broke me, one night I was crying so much because I was scared for what was to come. I was scared that things really were about to get worse. That is what happened to other parents, so I was terrified. Then, it hit me. I was doing that thing again, the same thing I did before Noah turned 2. Letting fear creep in! It gave me anxiety.

This is my child, I'm not going to let others tell me what is going on with MY child. 

You guys, so far 3 has been a blast. Why? Maybe it has a lot to do with my attitude towards him. I am not expecting him to be a rebel, or getting after him for dumb things. He too throws tantrums every once in awhile ;) 

My 3 year old is a boy, a typical boy, obsessed with trains, likes to play in the dirt and loves to tease. He is also a 3 year old that loves his little sister, he is protective of his toys but always makes sure she has a one as well. They have a bond that I dreamed about before they were born.

Parents, don't let others tell you how your child is going to be. Enjoy them, every stage, even the ones that are hard. They will not be little forever. Remember that you were meant to be their parent!

xo

To my daughter, love yourself.

Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. 

I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately. Mostly because I now have a daughter, but also because I got a whole lot more "kids" with my calling in Young Women and as a track coach. I'm not only their leader, but I also want to be an example to them.
My mom, your coco, always said, "strong is beautiful". Almost all of us kids have been into sports, but that doesn't mean that we didn't have our own struggles. She was very careful not to mention our weight and always made a point how weight doesn't matter unless we're lifting it. Honestly she would kick my trash in a bicycle spin class. I saw her work out often, take care of her health, be the best mom/wife and be her-kind of strong.

It hit me real hard the other day,  when a girl said "Coach D, when I grow up and have kids I want to look just like you". I remember being young, being a teenager with insecurities and trying to find ways to squish those little demons. Back then, social media wasn't as big of a deal as it is today. My role models were my parents, church leaders and athletes I looked up to. Today, people check instagram, hashtags and magazines and the "ideal" body image is off the charts.

Now that I have a daughter, I want to be her biggest example. I don't ever want her to have a body complex, nor feel inadequate or compare herself to someone else thinking they need to have her body. I want her and every girl that is reading this, to value your health. I want you to respect your body and ensure that they are respected by others. I want you to keep your health a focus and priority, create healthy habits throughout your lives. I want you to be the best versions of yourselves and be physically, emotionally and spiritually strong.

PC: Cecilia Harvard

You see, excuses aint cute, but confidence is. I want you to look in the mirror tonight, tell yourself that you are enough, beautiful and strong. Rock whatever body shape you have, don't let social media tell you what you should look like. Who cares if you're too curvy, too tall, too short, too skinny or too muscly (is that a word)?

I hope you know how much you matter to our Heavenly Father. That He loves you just the way you are. When he thinks of you, he smiles real big. You are not overlooked, not even for a second. Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. Embrace yourself. Love what you can do and accept what you can't. Be proud of yourself. Love your differences, and most importantly LOVE YOURSELF.

xo, Mom.

Dads, you're the real MVP!

In family relationships, love is really spelled T-I-M-E

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I talk a lot about Mothers, and how awesome you are (because you truly are). I think sometimes we tend to forget about our partner in crime. We rarely hear or read about how awesome Fathers are, or we just don't give them enough credit. So this post is dedicated to my partner in crime, but also to all you awesome, dedicated, loving, loyal fathers out there. SHOUT OUT TO YOU!

The other day as I was at the park with my kids, I was chatting with other moms about life and girly things. Such as the "The Bachelor", getting our nails done, working out and more about "The Bachelor". I told them how I watch it with a group of girls every Monday (no judging, this season is great). Anyways, then one of the moms asked:

"Do you take the kids with you?"

"No, they stay home with their father" I replied.

"Oooh" she said, with a funny look on her face.

If you know me, you know I'm already giving her the "fatty" look.

Then one of my biggest pet peeves happened;

"Wow, do you always come home to chaos? Are you kids alive when you get back? She said, while looking at the other moms trying to get their approval.

The other moms didn't say a thing, they just stared at me (probably afraid of what I was about to do).

I wanted to reply something rude, but I refrained. Later that day, it hit me how I hear these things all the time. People making comments about dads like they don't know what to do.

If your kid isn't dressed fashionable enough, people automatically think "daddy dressed him". When you're out and about without kids and someone nicely comments "is daddy on babysitting duty today". Nope, he's not a babysitter. He is a parent. 

When he's at school, he worries about the kids. He asks how they're doing multiple times a day. As soon as he gets home, the mood changes and we are all so happy. He's the one to build the coolest train tracks. He is playing vroom-vroom on his knees. He is building a fort and playing peek-a-boo. He is sitting next to a little person while they go potty. 

Later on, he will be cleaning up the leftovers from dinner. We will find something new on our sons body and google "is this spot normal or is my son infected". He will get irritated, and then real happy 5 seconds later because Noah listened. He will read the same goodnight story without  complaining. He will wake up at night also because someone needs to potty. He will cuddle Noah while mommy gets to sleep. He will check the locks once or twice, to make sure we are safe. He will check the kids one last time before he's ready for bed, or study some more while I sleep next to him. 

Then, there's me. His forever companion doing pretty much the same thing minus building cool train tracks.  The kicker is, we need to keep the good dads in our daily parenting language. I know that there are less active or involved fathers out there. But lets not forget about the loving, caring, loyal, capable, "I don't care to look foolish" dads, all hail to you!

xoxo

Modesty with Lularoe

You can dress attractively without being immodest. Within the Lord's guidelines, there is room for you to be lively, vibrant, and beautiful both in your dress and in your actions.

- Thomas S. Monson

PC:Sydneyayles

Growing up, I always felt like there were a slim selection of modest but cute dresses for church. If you ask my mother, she will tell you how I rarely wore dresses. I always found myself rotating between the few "cute" outfits I had. Maybe it was because I didn't know about online shopping (which is probably a good thing), or I wasn't looking at the right places. Today, I have more dresses than I ever thought I'd have. I have so many friends that are Lularoe consultants, so do yourself a favor and find a consultant in your area. I teamed up with my friends from PennyandBoss and Savannah, and we are sharing different styles that they carry. 

I'm wearing the Amelia dress, it is absolutely comfortable, comes in many different designs plus it has pockets! You can never go wrong with pockets. I was debating between this color or a floral (black and white) one, but decided that I needed to step out of my comfort zone. 

Lularoe carries more than just dresses, they have darling leggings, skirts, shirts, you name it!

xo

Confessions of a Mama!

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

- Neil L. Anderson

Most comfortable Nelle striped Dress, perfect for spring/summer.

This quote has kept me going when I've felt like quitting. It is no secret that Motherhood is hard.

Being a mother of two, is a whole other ball game than one. Different kids brings different challenges. Here are some of my challenges and thoughts as a mother of two. 

First off, how do you give enough time and attention to both kids, while still be a supportive wife and take care of the house? I don't have the correct answer, while I like to think that I'm a superhero, I cannot always finish my to-do list every week. It is actually impossible, so I just had to accept it and move on. Do little by little without getting overwhelmed. 

We all know that newborns need our help for pretty much everything. Some newborns are more demanding than others, and I will admit that we watched a whole lot of movies that first month before I got the hang of things. I had to tell myself it was okay and to not feel bad about it.

 I expected Olivia to be the exact same baby as Noah. Noah went straight for the goods, but Olivia, at first had a little bit of a harder time to nurse. Ever since the hospital, Olivia has been a pretty good sleeper (knock on wood) while her brother had gas problems and woke up every other hour when he was younger!! Hence my permanent Gucci bags under my eyes haha. 

I was able to breastfeed Noah for a year before we weened him off, but it has been a different story with Olivia. Like I mentioned earlier, she had a hard time actually attaching when she was born. Since she was born, 2.5 weeks early, the doctor was a little bit worried she would lose weight. I swear every feeding session was 40min long, which felt like an eternity. Then, she would sleep for a long time until she was hungry again. Like most babies do, they lose weight during their hospital stay. Liv lost quite a bit, luckily not enough for her to stay in the NICU. We had an appointment two days later to make sure she was gaining weight. I made sure to pump, feed, pump and feed as much as I could. Fast forward 5 months, I got REAL bad mastitis, so bad that I was bleeding. Anyone that has had mastitis know exactly what I am talking about. I had a fever, I was hurting, uncomfortable, frustrated and scared. Every time I attempted to feed Liv, she would cry and so would I. I was heartbroken because I had to stop breastfeeding, I tried several times but it hurt too much. Guilt then crept in. I felt like a terrible mom, like I had failed her. I felt guilty for a long time, and I dreaded that question from other moms;

Why aren't you breastfeeding? Wait, I thought you were breastfeeding...what happened? Oh, you're using formula?

I must admit, that I have loved watching Ben feed her and watching them bond. My baby is getting fed, she's healthy and oh so happy. 

This is what God gave me time for. My day dreams aside, because raising children won't last forever. When I start questioning myself, they remind me that being a mother has been my #1 day dream ever since I was a young girl. 

I know that as I continue to put my children first, everything else will fall into place. Making it possible for all of my day dreams to come true in their own perfect timing.

xo

Some thoughts I wish I read before I had kids.

A post I wish I read before I had children. Before you read, know that these are my own thoughts and this may not apply to everyone.

PC: Cecilia Harvard www.dearestlou.com

With that being said, being a Mother is the greatest blessing I have received. Growing up, motherhood looked a lot different from what I imagined when I was young. Motherhood doesn't look like those perfect pinterest boards, full of creativity, DIY projects, perfect party favors that take way too long to make. Those moments are there, but those things do not make a mother.

While those things are beautiful, they don't really matter in the long run.

Do you know  what matters?

YOU

I've been blessed with fairly easy pregnancies. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen to everyone. I had a friend telling me " being pregnant looks nothing like on tv". I thought that was such an interesting comment. She was sick up until she had her baby, her ankles were swollen, she gained 50 lbs and hated the way she looked. 

Whenever someone would use the excuse of not being prepared yet, I would often come back and say "you can never fully prepare". Which to an extent I think is true, but on the other hand, you can totally prepare... Mentally! I know many people that have gotten depressed post-baby because they weren't mentally prepared for the changes. Changes as in; your body changing, your mood, being sick, etc. I think these are SO important to know before you consider anything, so it doesn't come as a surprise. We as women already struggle with body image, while we are creating something beautiful, it can be hard for some to accept those kind of changes. 

When having Noah, a lot of things were foreign to me. Although I had nanny'd and babysat a lot, he was my first child. I was responsible for him, ME!! We now live in a society where if we aren't doing what others are doing, we feel like we are failing. We compare ourselves, and our children (even if its unintentional) which creates a lot of self doubt. 

"Comparison is the thief of joy"

Our doctors tell us what our kids are suppose to do. Are they hitting the right milestones? Sleeping through the night? Sitting up? Crawling? Walking? Talking? Potty trained? I hated when people would ask me if Noah was sleeping through the night, unless it came from close friends/family. I felt many times that if I said no, they'd give me a weird look (as if Noah was behind). This often resulted to me feeling down, and questioning my parenting skills. This I know has happened to many of my close friends, and this also results in a mother lying because they don't want to feel guilt or get that weird look. 

I think it is so important to know that when a fellow mom comes to you for advice, they aren't looking for you to brag about your kid. Because, let's be honest, we all think that our own kids are the best ;) Instead, try to uplift and encourage and if you don't have advice then laugh about the situation. Besides, everybody has a different view of sleeping through the night!

Have you ever felt like you were failing as a mother because your child wasn't doing what another child was doing?  I know I have, multiple times. Here's the kicker, EVERY MOM HAS, at one point or another. We are not alone, we need each other to help one another. We are sisters, and we are all in this "hood" together. Next time you approach another mom, tell her she's awesome and she's doing an amazing job. If you are reading this, you are doing so much better than you think you are. Know that your little ones chose you for a reason. If you are currently pregnant, try to enjoy every moment, even the hard one. This too shall pass and I hear that 20 years from now you will miss it ;)

xo

Twinning is winning!

You are something divine. More beautiful and glorious than you can possibly imagine.

-Dieter F. Utchdorf

I just love her so much!

PC: Instagram Husband ;)

What is happening to my little baby? How is she already 9 months and almost walking? Am I ready for this? The answer is no, but are we ever ready?

Time flies, and before I know it, I will have a 3 year old and a 1 year old :)

Anyhow, Olivia and I are totally twinning and I'm in love with this look. Our tops are made with love from Mexico. The details, the vibrant colors are so gorgeous and they are making me excited for the spring (although it already feels like spring in Arizona). 

Visit Flor De Luz Shop here, and shop away!! You will not regret it!!

xo

Fitness apparel snob- SENITA

Many of you who read my blog, know how much I love exercising. Do you prefer wearing your fitness apparel because its so much more comfortable than skinny jeans? If your answer is yes, you're going to love this. If your answer is no, then you will change your mind once you let senita into your life.

I've been into sports since I was a little kid. Over the years, as I grew older I have gone through many different brands of athletic gear. As a former D1 and professional athlete, I have a lot of fitness apparel and have become a gear snob. I know that it can get expensive, specially when you buy the "higher end brands", ain't nobody got time for that. This is where senita athletics comes in. It was founded by my good friend Jenna, whom like me was a D1 athlete.

She did a LOT of research, a lot of digging to find the highest quality fabrics and started senita athletics. A company that sells durable, comfortable, fashionable and affordable fitness apparel.

I believe in everything that I post, and I promise you that these are worth every penny. You aren't going to want to take them off, not only that, they come with pockets to put your phone in.