Why you shouldn't warn other parents about different stages.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

A Child's spiritual DNA is perfect because ones true identity is a son and daughter of God.
- Neil L. Andersen

When you first become a parent, it is both exciting and nerve-racking. You are about to be responsible for a tiny human being. Heavenly Father has complete trust that you are going to provide, protect and LOVE your babies just as he loves you... at all times. As a couple we create perfect beings, we watch the woman's body develop and do some amazing things. I truly believe women are phenomenal. I believe birth is such a spiritual moment and I feel so close to heaven in that moment.
But becoming a parent is more than just looking at your perfect child. You watch your child grow, build character, say their first word, crawl, walk etc. 

Nerve-racking, because you have no idea whats about to hit you. You don't know if your baby is going to be a good sleeper, colicky, good eater, cry all day long kind of baby. You just don't know! 
When I was pregnant with Noah, my biggest pet-peeve was hearing "bad birth stories". Like why do people feel like it's okay to tell scary stories? Ain't nobody want to hear that.
I also got the, "just prepare yourself that you will never sleep for the rest of your life". Well that doesn't sound very fun, because I love sleeping.  And my favorite, "babies are so boring that first part of life, until they start interacting with you".
Okay, I don't know about you, but I hate comments like these. Why? Because it puts fear into your mind. Whatever your baby is dealing with in whatever stage,  YOU CAN HANDLE IT. Don't let people tell you how things are going to be. Every baby is different.

I love being a mom, more than anything. But that doesn't mean that it is all peachy everyday. It is so hard, actually the hardest job I've ever had. There are many times I find myself on my knees asking for help, for more patience, to be more loving and understanding. This is one heck of a job, and it is 24/7. I bow down to you single parents out there. 
Motherhood was fairly "easy" up until Noah turned 2. We have all heard of the "terrible twos" and the "treenager" phase. I got warned by probably everyone and anyone. Strangers, family, social media I mean you name it. I didn't really let that get to me too much until I started seeing some of his behavior change. Immediately, I blamed it on the "terrible twos". I saw myself getting frustrated at him, instead of trying to understand why he was doing certain things. I found myself getting angry a lot, and I'm not an angry person at all. Then whenever anything was hard, I blamed it on his age. Looking back, I can see how I missed some incredible moments with my son, because I wasn't enjoying that stage. A couple of months before he turned 3, I kept hearing "oh 3 is even worse". It broke me, one night I was crying so much because I was scared for what was to come. I was scared that things really were about to get worse. That is what happened to other parents, so I was terrified. Then, it hit me. I was doing that thing again, the same thing I did before Noah turned 2. Letting fear creep in! It gave me anxiety.
This is my child, I'm not going to let others tell me what is going on with MY child. 
You guys, so far 3 has been a blast. Why? Maybe it has a lot to do with my attitude towards him. I am not expecting him to be a rebel, or getting after him for dumb things. He too throws tantrums every once in awhile ;) 
My 3 year old is a boy, a typical boy, obsessed with trains, likes to play in the dirt and loves to tease. He is also a 3 year old that loves his little sister, he is protective of his toys but always makes sure she has a one as well. They have a bond that I dreamed about before they were born.
Parents, don't let others tell you how your child is going to be. Enjoy them, every stage, even the ones that are hard. They will not be little forever. Remember that you were meant to be their parent!



  1. Love this. I felt the same way as a teacher. I never wanted to hear about students and their ability or behavior before I had them in my classroom. it's incredible how preconceived notions can take hold.

    Our daughter is one, and I'm already telling myself that she's going to be a lovely toddler.

    And then, maybe I'm an optimist 😊 (It's worked so far!)


    1. Thank you so much! I bet thats even harder as a teacher!! Haha, I support you being an optimist! It's amazing how much power your mind has over you :)


  2. As one who's been there a few times ;) I can totally confirm that every child is totally different. I've had easy 2-3 year olds and really difficult ones. It's not fair to generalize all 2 or 3 year olds as totally difficult, because it's not true for every single one.
    And I understand the "fun" in telling the more dramatic, sometimes frightening birth stories -- they make great stories! But I think it is totally inappropriate to tell them to pregnant women. There is already so much fear that surrounds birth without all of the (probably exaggerated) birth horror stories.
    Let's just be supportive and encouraging, there's enough negativity in the world as it is.

    Another great post! ...Apparently it got me a bit fired up. Ha ha..

    1. Hahahah, I freaking love you!!! You're the best! I totally agree with you tho, you know you're my favorite!! Xoxo

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  4. I totally agree with you Fatima, every single word I can completely relate. I must share with you a hilarious video on the matter I came across on Facebook. Why, I wonder why parents - who are supposed to know what a delicate subject they're dealing with - should ever terrify another parent? My daughter has just started primary school, and so many other moms told me " you are gonna see now". Well, now I wish I had told them: "if you managed it, I will certainly do too". I do what I can to give comfort to mothers who are going through a hard time, I mean, why should another mom want to scare me like that? This post was precious and made me feel better and safer! Thank you! Your new friend from Italy :-) Baci, Valeria - Coco et La vie en rose <a href="http://www.cocoetlavieenrose.com/rose-gold-fashion/>NEW POST</a>

  5. I really appreciate your perspective. I'm pregnant with my first and I get rather annoyed at the comments about how I'll never sleep again. Maybe that is true but it's just not very helpful. My mom told me recently that she actually really enjoyed mothering us as teenagers while most of her friends were complaining about that season of life.

  6. Beautiful! Love what you had to share!