Why you shouldn't warn other parents about different stages.

A Child's spiritual DNA is perfect because ones true identity is a son and daughter of God.

- Neil L. Andersen

When you first become a parent, it is both exciting and nerve-racking. You are about to be responsible for a tiny human being. Heavenly Father has complete trust that you are going to provide, protect and LOVE your babies just as he loves you... at all times. As a couple we create perfect beings, we watch the woman's body develop and do some amazing things. I truly believe women are phenomenal. I believe birth is such a spiritual moment and I feel so close to heaven in that moment.

But becoming a parent is more than just looking at your perfect child. You watch your child grow, build character, say their first word, crawl, walk etc. 

Nerve-racking, because you have no idea whats about to hit you. You don't know if your baby is going to be a good sleeper, colicky, good eater, cry all day long kind of baby. You just don't know! 

When I was pregnant with Noah, my biggest pet-peeve was hearing "bad birth stories". Like why do people feel like it's okay to tell scary stories? Ain't nobody want to hear that.

I also got the, "just prepare yourself that you will never sleep for the rest of your life". Well that doesn't sound very fun, because I love sleeping.  And my favorite, "babies are so boring that first part of life, until they start interacting with you".

Okay, I don't know about you, but I hate comments like these. Why? Because it puts fear into your mind. Whatever your baby is dealing with in whatever stage,  YOU CAN HANDLE IT. Don't let people tell you how things are going to be. Every baby is different.

I love being a mom, more than anything. But that doesn't mean that it is all peachy everyday. It is so hard, actually the hardest job I've ever had. There are many times I find myself on my knees asking for help, for more patience, to be more loving and understanding. This is one heck of a job, and it is 24/7. I bow down to you single parents out there. 

Motherhood was fairly "easy" up until Noah turned 2. We have all heard of the "terrible twos" and the "treenager" phase. I got warned by probably everyone and anyone. Strangers, family, social media I mean you name it. I didn't really let that get to me too much until I started seeing some of his behavior change. Immediately, I blamed it on the "terrible twos". I saw myself getting frustrated at him, instead of trying to understand why he was doing certain things. I found myself getting angry a lot, and I'm not an angry person at all. Then whenever anything was hard, I blamed it on his age. Looking back, I can see how I missed some incredible moments with my son, because I wasn't enjoying that stage. A couple of months before he turned 3, I kept hearing "oh 3 is even worse". It broke me, one night I was crying so much because I was scared for what was to come. I was scared that things really were about to get worse. That is what happened to other parents, so I was terrified. Then, it hit me. I was doing that thing again, the same thing I did before Noah turned 2. Letting fear creep in! It gave me anxiety.

This is my child, I'm not going to let others tell me what is going on with MY child. 

You guys, so far 3 has been a blast. Why? Maybe it has a lot to do with my attitude towards him. I am not expecting him to be a rebel, or getting after him for dumb things. He too throws tantrums every once in awhile ;) 

My 3 year old is a boy, a typical boy, obsessed with trains, likes to play in the dirt and loves to tease. He is also a 3 year old that loves his little sister, he is protective of his toys but always makes sure she has a one as well. They have a bond that I dreamed about before they were born.

Parents, don't let others tell you how your child is going to be. Enjoy them, every stage, even the ones that are hard. They will not be little forever. Remember that you were meant to be their parent!

xo

Dads, you're the real MVP!

In family relationships, love is really spelled T-I-M-E

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I talk a lot about Mothers, and how awesome you are (because you truly are). I think sometimes we tend to forget about our partner in crime. We rarely hear or read about how awesome Fathers are, or we just don't give them enough credit. So this post is dedicated to my partner in crime, but also to all you awesome, dedicated, loving, loyal fathers out there. SHOUT OUT TO YOU!

The other day as I was at the park with my kids, I was chatting with other moms about life and girly things. Such as the "The Bachelor", getting our nails done, working out and more about "The Bachelor". I told them how I watch it with a group of girls every Monday (no judging, this season is great). Anyways, then one of the moms asked:

"Do you take the kids with you?"

"No, they stay home with their father" I replied.

"Oooh" she said, with a funny look on her face.

If you know me, you know I'm already giving her the "fatty" look.

Then one of my biggest pet peeves happened;

"Wow, do you always come home to chaos? Are you kids alive when you get back? She said, while looking at the other moms trying to get their approval.

The other moms didn't say a thing, they just stared at me (probably afraid of what I was about to do).

I wanted to reply something rude, but I refrained. Later that day, it hit me how I hear these things all the time. People making comments about dads like they don't know what to do.

If your kid isn't dressed fashionable enough, people automatically think "daddy dressed him". When you're out and about without kids and someone nicely comments "is daddy on babysitting duty today". Nope, he's not a babysitter. He is a parent. 

When he's at school, he worries about the kids. He asks how they're doing multiple times a day. As soon as he gets home, the mood changes and we are all so happy. He's the one to build the coolest train tracks. He is playing vroom-vroom on his knees. He is building a fort and playing peek-a-boo. He is sitting next to a little person while they go potty. 

Later on, he will be cleaning up the leftovers from dinner. We will find something new on our sons body and google "is this spot normal or is my son infected". He will get irritated, and then real happy 5 seconds later because Noah listened. He will read the same goodnight story without  complaining. He will wake up at night also because someone needs to potty. He will cuddle Noah while mommy gets to sleep. He will check the locks once or twice, to make sure we are safe. He will check the kids one last time before he's ready for bed, or study some more while I sleep next to him. 

Then, there's me. His forever companion doing pretty much the same thing minus building cool train tracks.  The kicker is, we need to keep the good dads in our daily parenting language. I know that there are less active or involved fathers out there. But lets not forget about the loving, caring, loyal, capable, "I don't care to look foolish" dads, all hail to you!

xoxo

Husbands, Fathers, Partners, Best friends!

Often I think we don't give our husbands and the fathers to our children enough credit. Let's be real, life would be pretty boring without them! Am I right, or am I right? Unless you married a really boring guy, then you're in no luck ;)

The song, "I'm so glad when daddy comes home", I am pretty sure was intended for us wives as well. If you don't know what I am talking about, youtube it, you can thank me later :)

Growing up, my mom ALWAYS had food ready, every single day. That is something I've strived to do as well. Now, I'm certainly no Martha Stewart, but I'm pretty dang close ;) No, but I do try to have dinner ready or at least in the process by the time Ben comes home. Another thing that my mom taught me, is the "2 min clean up". She would just put things together, or hide it haha, pick up toys, basically made it look like she cleaned for hours when it only took her 2 minutes. Anyone else do that? I do that all the time, not because I want Ben to think I cleaned forever and praise me, but because I want him to come home to "peace". I know I get pretty overwhelmed when there are a million toys everywhere. I should count picking up toys as a workout, its pretty close to a squat right?

Last but not least, I clean myself up a little. I don't mean, put make-up on and look like Beyonce (that takes too long), but maybe change of clothes and fix my hair. I may or may not be in the same spot/clothes all day until Ben gets home hahaha! A clean look is always pleasant to come home to. I get so excited when Ben comes home, Noah gets even more excited!! 

Husbands, you are awesome! After slapping Ben with a big kiss on the lips, I usually follow by handing him Olivia, because my arms are tired and they need to breathe. Is your spouse also the fun parent in your household? Everyone thinks Ben is funny, whenever we meet new people they remember us as "fatty and funny ben". I don't know about you, but I rather get remembered as funny than fat ;)

I'm so grateful for a husband who helps me whenever he can, who wakes up at night so I can get rest, who makes me laugh ALL the time, who's funnier than me even though I consider myself funny!! He's selfless, he cares more about his children then anything else. He compliments me on the daily and despite his school load he still takes time for family time. 

Love you BOO, you're stuck with me forever!

Vive les Hommes

xo