Mommyin' is HARD work!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Being a mom is hard. I have always had the "if my mom can do it, I can do it" mentality. Then I became a mother and realized how stinking hard it is. I honestly wonder quite often how my mother did/does it. Growing up I never knew there was such a thing as postpartum depression, until my best friend got it after her first. Today, I have many friends that deal with this or just depression in general. To you, who's dealing with this, I say; you are not alone. 
I think theres this hidden pressure on us women, that we should be able to do everything, especially in the LDS community. Sometimes theres these pressures to be perfect and to live perfect lives. A life where our kids obey, never cry, never throws tantrums and are reverent at all times. I promise this isn't reality. I promise this happens to all of us, one way or another. 
My friend told me "I never wanted to admit things were hard, because I thought that made me look like a weak mother". 
I hope and pray that you never feel this way. We all struggle. Being a mother is hard work. 


" The joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction" - Russell M. Ballard


Do you ever find yourself feeling defeated, frustrated, tired and full of love all at the same time?? The struggle is real people. I could be pregnant for days, because I seriously LOVE it, but then we gotta raise these little humans. They all come with their own personalities, and struggles and that is the real challenge.
Don't let peoples images make you feel less of a mother. Not everyone post about their struggles, but I guarantee that they're there. Motherhood isn't always smiles and giggles, there are daily tantrums, giant tears, food battles and sharing problems. Oh and naps! Don't even get me started on when your toddler is tired but they fight it and become super duper sensitive to everything. Then later they fall asleep at 5PM and then have another battle at 8PM, because they aren't tired. I promise, you're not the only one! 
Thank heavens for the brighter moments. The times when they do obey, when they randomly hug and kiss you, when they get excited about the simplest things. Those happy smiling times are there and I am convinced that they are there to keep us going each day. 


3 things that keeps me sane as a stay-at-home mother.

1. My husband!
He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He keeps me sane, he texts me all day long to make sure we are doing okay. He wants to be involved, he loves seeing pictures of our daily adventures. When he comes home, he takes his parenting right where he left off. Sometimes he doesn't even have time to change his clothes before he's on the ground wrestling with the kids. He helps me with the kids, wakes up at night without complaining, and tells me to go out and have fun. I'm beyond grateful for him and all that he does for/with us. 

2. Play dates
I would die if I didn't have play dates set up each week. Plus my kids love their friends and playing at other people's houses. 

3. Me-time/Girls time
I will always preach that me-time/girls time is so important. You need to take care of yourself everyday, whether it is 30 min or 3 hours! Whatever you need to fill that cup. Do something for yourself that makes you happy. Create healthy and sincere friendships that will help and uplift you. Girls that you can count on, vent to and just have the best time with. 

xo 

 

24 comments:

  1. I love this 💛 Being a mom is hard, but it's so good, like you said, to find the things that ground you 💛 You go, mama!

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  2. This is great Fati! Well written. Thanks for the encouragement and reality check.

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  3. This is definitely something I struggle with. It was worse a few years ago, I felt like I had to look like I had it together, especially because I started my family so young, and had so many babies so close together. I felt like, if I couldn't convince people that I was loving life and doing great and was totally on top of everything, that I might avoid the judgement that I felt was in the eyes of every stranger in the store or on the street. I still feel this need to look like I've got it together, but I'm trying to be more honest when I talk about or write about being a mother. Because it is dang hard, and these kids wear me out and stress me out like crazy. I feel like I'm getting better at doing things for me to help me be better able to handle to chaos of daily life, but yeah, totally not perfect at it. It is a constant struggle and effort, but I feel like the more people talk about it, the more people are real and share their struggles, the more I am able to see that I am not alone. I think that is one of the top things that keeps me going -- just knowing that I am not the only frazzled, basket-case mother out there. We all have our good days and our hard days. I am not alone, you are not alone.

    ...That was a long comment. Basically, thanks for this. You're awesome!

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    1. I surely love you friend, thank you so much for your comments!! It is crazy that ones you open up, how many others do to and you feel so relieved cause you're not the only one struggling! You're amazing tho and you're doing such a great job!!

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  4. I always wonder how my mom did it too. She worked full time, was an awesome mom, and she had a home cooked meal for us every night. I'm over here just trying to keep the kids alive as a stay at home mom! Those are great tips though. My husband definitely helps keep me sane! I think I need to get out more though.

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    1. Hahaha, but seriously our moms are superheros!!! Get out more, do things for yourself its so important and healthy for you :)

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  5. There are so many topics that people didn't really speak of and I think postpartum is one of those things. Thanks for sharing.

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  6. Mommin' is so hard. It's such a mix of everything- from boredom to being so busy we forget to eat, all within the same day. I love your words of advice and your honesty about the struggles!

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    1. So so so true my friend! Thabk you so much for your kind words!

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  7. Such a great post Fatima! I think it's so important to realize it's okay if you struggle!

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  8. Hardest job ever!! Momma's must make time for themselves for sure!! And yeah for having a supportive husband who is your rock!

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    1. For reals, breaks my heart whenever I hear about friends husbands not helping :(

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  9. This is why I both love and hate social media. It's so easy to make our lives appear "perfect" by the pictures we post or the status updates. But then again, there are lots of moms out there who are totally real and will post about good and bad days and it helps us realize that we are not alone. We all need love and support.

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    1. Seriously, social media can be such a blessing and a curse!

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  10. I love this it is hard but man is it worth it! Keep on rocking mama

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  11. I love all of this! I legit just wrote something today on my Instagram about mom guilt. Thank you for speaking out and allowing us to know that we are not alone!

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    1. Aww thank you so much love, you're the sweetest!! <3

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  12. Motherhood seems so tough and it is crazy how no one really speaks about how hard it is! I had a huge discussion about this with my friend who is raising her firstborn. I know she would appreciate hearing posts like this because she felt so alone and like a bad mom, too! You da greatest :)

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  13. Love this post Fatima! I agree with you that there is pressure to be perfect in the LDS community. I've felt myself going a bit insane since moving to AZ since I don't have my family and friends. Your tips were helpful. My little one is only 5 months old so I'm not sure if play dates will work yet, but I'm counting down the days until I can do play groups. Love your posts! They are so inspirational.

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